With time, I am becoming convinced that altruism is bullshit. Not only do a number of friends and family owe me thousands of dollars in loans I made to help them out over the years, I also allow advantage to be taken of my generous nature in many other material and nonmaterial ways. No more.

Let nature take its course, and when the electric company is going to cut you off or your kid wants to sell magazines for a fundraiser or you need a place to park your junk car or whatever it is, NO. That's my answer. NO. When I need money, do any of these deadbeats run over here and help me out? NO. So from now on, anytime you need a little help, go down to the bus station and turn tricks or something. Don't come to me, because I will say NO.